Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If
they're OK, you're it.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
appreciates how difficult it was.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to
others.

Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor.

Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to
criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid, too.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel
happy to be on your way.

Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be
evenly distributed.

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