The Right to Remain Stupid

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following are but a few of the villains who made "America's Dumbest
Criminals", a new book from Rutledge Hill Press. Authors Daniel Butler,
Leland Gregory and Alan Ray interviewed cops all over the U.S. to compile
the book and a companion video
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peoria police were nunplussed. A house had been burglarized but none of the
usual items was missing. The only thing out of the ordinary: The new
wall-to-wall carpeting had been taken up and removed. When the cops stepped
outside, they got a second shock. There lay a trail in the snow, cut by
something very long and heavy. It lead to a neighbor's house, where
officers found the stolen carpet -- recut and installed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Investigating a purse snatching, Brunswick, Georgia, detectives picked up a
man who fit the thief's description and drove him back to the scene. He was
told to exit the car and face the victim for an I.D. The suspect dutifully
eyed the victim, and blurted, "Yeah, that's the woman I robbed."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Nashville, they tell of Fred "Junior" Williams, the burglar who fell
asleep on the sofa of the home he was robbing, only to be awakened by
police.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Thibodaux, Louisiana, a robber with a thick Cajun accent couldn't get
restaurant patrons to understand his demand for money. Frustrated, he
whipped out his gun, but it wouldn't fire. Grabbing the cash register, he
ran -- but got only three feet before falling down. The register was still
plugged into the wall. Unplugging it, he tried again, but a diner decked
him and called police.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Texas authorities, responding to a store robbery, seized a man who was
fleeing naked. He said he'd stripped after the job because he figured his
clothes would make him identifiable.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Lawrence, Kansas, officers tracked a midnight thief who prided himself
on his running speed by following the red lights on his high-tech tennis
shoes.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Virginia, a janitor went to great lengths to avoid I.D. in a 7-Eleven
robbery, using a ski mask and rental car for the occasion. But he also wore
his work uniform, which said "Cedar Woods Apartments" and had his name,
Dwayne, stitched across the front.

Joke Index Homepage