More Darwin Awards
BUXTON, N.C. A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach goers said Daniel Jones,
21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting
in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying
him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the Outer Banks used
their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of
Woodbridge, Va., but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using
heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked
on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. You just wouldn't believe the
outpouring of concern, people digging with their hands, using pails from
kids," Dare County Sheriff Bert Austin said.
This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded
all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag,
the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and
said " Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was,
but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe
him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man
was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran
from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and
gave the name and address of the robber that he got off of the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
Under the category: "Too Stupid," a true story out of San Francisco. It
seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
branch and wrote "This iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While
standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry
that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before
he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed
the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed
his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him
that she could not accept his stick up note because it was written on a
Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a
Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat
defeated, the man said "OK" and left the Wells Fargo. The Wells Fargo
teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as
he was waiting in line back at the Bank of America.
In Guthrie, Okla., in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with
a shot from his .22caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near
the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his skull.
In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out
cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane
torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his
house.
In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, Calif., as he
fell face first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing.
Death was caused when the large flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to
keep his hands free) crammed against the base of his skull as he hit the
floor.
According to police in Dahlonega, Ga., ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, was
stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was
trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena was
wearing.
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Del.,
as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded
with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
In February, according to police in Windsor, Ont., Daniel Kolta, 27, and
Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head on collision, thus earning a tie in the
game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.
Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, N. J., in
September, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, by a quarter stick of
dynamite that blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 a.m., the
bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see
what would happen, but they apparently failed to notice that the window was
closed.
Jeffrey J. Pyrcioch, 19, and an alleged accomplice were arrested in West
Lafayette, Ind., in May on theft and fraud charges. Pyrcioch allegedly
cashed checks that he had written with disappearing ink, apparently
believing the checks would be blank by the time they were presented to the
bank for collection. However, traces of ink remained, and police said
Pyrcioch would have a better chance of getting away with it if he had not
used checks preprinted with his name and account number on them.
[Washington Post, 6296]
In August, 12 men were arrested near Szczecin in northern Poland as they
were digging up a road because they had heard a rumor that it was built
with a large stockpile of police confiscated hashish. The hashish had been
sold to a chemical plant to be incinerated into ash for road construction.
Paul Carthy, 25, pleaded guilty in Exeter, England, in September to theft
subsequent to his original charge of shoplifting from a liquor store. In
the second theft, he had stolen the magnetic letters off the name board
that was held up to his face when his mug shot was taken.
In September, according to police in Junction City, Kan., David Bell, 30,
just released from jail for car theft, walked out the door and stole
another car to get home. And in October, William B. Singleton, 24, just
released from jail in Belton, Mo., on a larceny charge, allegedly broke
into a vending machine in the lobby of the police station and stole a
60 cent Strawberry Twisteroo while he waited for his ride to arrive.
In October, a 49 year old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned
when he ran," according to his wife, accidentally jogged off of a 200 foot
high cliff on his daily run.
In September in Detroit, a 41year old man got stuck and drowned in two
feet of water after squeezing headfirst through an 18inch wide sewer grate
to retrieve his car keys.
In September, a 7year old boy fell off a 100foot high bluff near Ozark,
Ark., after he lost his grip swinging on a cross that marked the spot where
another person had fallen to his death in 1990.
Taking "Amateur Night" Too Far: In Betulia, Colombia, an annual festival
in November includes five days of amateur bullfighting. This year, no bull
was killed, but dozens of matadors were injured, including one gored in the
head and one Bobbittized. Said one participant, "It's just one bull against
[a town of] a thousand morons."
[AP, Mammoth Lakes, CA]
A San Anselmo man died yesterday when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth
Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad, authorities
said. Matthew David Hubal, 22, was pronounced dead at Centinela Mammoth
Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's
Department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run
called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from the lift
towers, said Lieutenant Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police
Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit the towers.
The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal
crashed into a tower. It was determined that the tower he hit was the one
with its pad removed.
[AP, St. Louis, MO]
Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market.
When the clerk threatened to call police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved
it in his mouth, and walked out without paying for it. Police found him
unconscious in front of the store: paramedics removed the six-inch wiener
from his throat, where it had choked him to death.
[UPI, Spain]
To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above him on an
overhanging rock-and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
Man's Looses Face at Party
[Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA]
A man at a party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down,
triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth and tongue, state
police said Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap
as a prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne.
"Another man had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and was trying to
explode it," Payne said. "It wouldn't go off and this guy said, "I'll show
you how to set it off." "He put it in his mouth and bit down. It blew all
his teeth off, his tongue and his lips," Payne said. Stromyer was listed in
guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a
spokesman at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine
anyone doing something like that," Payne said.
[UPI, Portland, OR]
Doctors at Portland's University Hospital said Wednesday an Oregon man shot
through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive, and will be
released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last
weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men
Anonymous, in Grants Pass, Ore. A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his
head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right eye. Doctors said had the arrow
gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would have cut and
Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny Delashaw at the
University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches
of brain, with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow
managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said had Robert
tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself.
Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that
afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No charges have
been filed but the Josephine County district attorney's office said the
initiation stunt is under investigation.
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