Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always
wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if
your boss is a different gender than you are.)

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these
names. "That's a good point, Sparky."   "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to
disagree with you there, Chachi."

Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For
example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

"Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since
you did this.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."

Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're
waiting for your document.

Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for
lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the
meeting eat five entire raw potatoes.

Insist that your e-mail address be: "zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries
with that.

Send e-mail to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about
the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a
co-worker and ask him/her to settle the disagreement.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair
dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."

Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many."

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try
to pass them off as your children.

For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the
fish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you
can catch in your mouth.

Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts, etc...in the
lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat
your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

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